by: The Good Reverend Roger
For this, of course, we are called all manner of horrible shit by stupid people. “conservopagans” & Magicktards, libertariantards, Democrats, Republicans, teabaggers, the DAR (& other racists), and I’m pretty sure the Rotarians have put hits out on us. It is un-American to point out that things aren’t utterly perfect, that there might be a flaw or two in our glorious system.
We – at least the portion of Discordians that I feel comfortable speaking for – no longer buy into the left/right false dilemma that has been propagated by the media for the last 65 years or so. “Both sides” are moronic Punch & Judy dolls set up for you to throw rotten fruit at. If at this point you find yourself saying “Well, sure, but at least the
And the 3rd party morons? As I’ve said before, just because they’re funnier doesn’t make them better. No, the sad fact is that all politics is utter garbage which must be studied without buy-in…Because, though those police may be a social fiction, their pepper spray and billy clubs are just as real as they need to be.
This applies to ALL politics. Dumb fucking anarchists are buying the same shit in a different wrapper. In fact, anarchy is the STUPIDEST form of politics, because it doesn’t even TRY to put forth a workable agenda, let alone a system that primates can live with. Also, it was invented by the French, and anyone who has studied their governmental history has no further need of any evidence, whatsoever.
Related to politics is, of course, religion. Religion, as defined by us in The Church™, means “any group of people who believe the same things without considering (or even looking at) evidence that contradicts those beliefs”. Religion therefore includes the American Left & Right, all major denominations of all the Abrahamaic religions, Hindus, Zoroastrians, atheists, Bears fans, Free Market retards, communists, Scientologists, television viewers, and people who get their “information” from AM radio. Please note that this is by no means an exclusive list.
All of the above have one thing in common: They steal your Slack™, and then give your formulaic, false-slack pap in exchange. They typically do this by offering you what primates need: An alpha, usually a surrogate one. The character “Jack Bauer” comes to mind, as does the president, the pope, Rush Limbaugh, or anyone else who will take from the masses the burden of thinking for themselves. Typically, this is sold with John Wayne stapled all over it, the only example required to demonstrate this is the recent & laughable “Rick Perry is Strong” ad. Same with the fictional Jack Bauer…He’s hard as nails, and has no time for hippie shit like due process & the rule of law. Don’t you wish we had a Jack Bauer to cut the crap and do horrible shit to really bad people?
If you answered yes, for any reason – for any crime - then you are essentially no different than a Roman citizen in 50 BCE. You are part of the problem, and you need to REPENT, SINNER, or else resign yourself to a lifetime of walking on your knuckles. Know ye well the signs of the End Times, fools, for is it not written that false prophets shall deceive the multitudes? Is it not written that a sucker is a sucker, and should not be trusted with cash? IS IT NOT WRITTEN INDEED, THAT LO, THERE’S LOTS OF SHIT HAPPENING THAT YOU AREN’T TOLD ABOUT?
Indeed. You merely aren’t told. Nothing is hidden from you, because they just have to convince you that many things aren’t worth looking at. They’re “uncool”. “Math is boring!” “That’s crackpot shit.” “You’ll never get a good job without what we have.” “There’s nothing I can do, anyway.” “Watch our special report on the dangers of stepping outdoors, at 9.”
People believe that shit, and it is the fucking ROAD TO PERDITION, paved by The Spider with bricks made out of the purest Conspiracy™. Jesus tried to warn you about this shit, and they turned him into the God of Capitalism. “Bob” tried to warn you about this shit, so they assassinated him a half a dozen times. The Occupy geeks are trying to warn you about something. They’re not quite sure what it is, specifically, but they know there’s something HIDEOUSLY WRONG.
And if a pack of smelly hippies and tragically cool hipsters can figure at least that much out, I expect no less from you. And, not unlike them, I expect you to fucking DO something. But I won't tell you what. Use your fucking head for something more than a glory hole lure, and FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN METHODS YOURSELF. Oh, and then SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's a sad fucking day when 35 year old hipster creepers get more done to fuck the system than we do.
Get the fuck on it.
Or Kill Me.
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