she's so green she doesn't watch movies because of film being made from organic beings. She cherishes her liberal guilt like a close relative whose recently lost its legs in a landmine accident. If youre going to eat meat, she says, at least buy free range haven't you seen the PETA ads? Don't you listen to PETA? she only drinks rain water, and seems never to bathe. she speaks often and lovingly about green condos, as if they might be a viable answer to the urban sprawl problem. she sneers at ketchup, but then again, so do I... but wait, there's more... she refuses to use toilet paper, MUCH TOO WASTEFUL! she instead has rags which she washes over and over again. stop and think about that before moving on. she has rags of shit she washes over and over again. shit. and, don't get her started on paper towels, she will foam at the mouth, like she does when she brushes her teeth with baking soda. yes, she brushes her teeth with baking soda. she refuses to listen to music by artists who don't share her worldview, and barely tolerates those around her who don't. she speaks often about moving to the country. moving to the country. moving to the country. moving to the country. she speaks often often often about moving to the country. anywhere to escape the stink of the city. the stink of millions of people crammed together daily. does she consider what we would smell like if we all used rags to wipe the shit from our asses? i wonder.
where does her greenness stop? what is her limit? BIRTH CONTROL, apparently. the woman has four children already, and a fifth one up the stick. five children, my friends. five more mouths to cry for McDonald Happy Meals. five more mouths to grow up and consume. five more bodies to stink up this city. five more bodies to add to the 6,602,224,175 bodies already weighing down and stinking up this mudball we call Earth.
GREEN? don't make me laugh, bitch, i'm goofy enough as it is.
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